I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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