Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
