Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
