dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
