just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
