I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
