I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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