Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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