Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
