I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
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