dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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