Got a toothbrush?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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