So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
