He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
