Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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