I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
