Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
