we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
