Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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