Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
