Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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