Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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