Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
