so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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