Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
