will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
vagina is talking i cant
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
