Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
