I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love having hate sex.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
