Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
