using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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