My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
People in love make me want to vomit
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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