no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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