Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
