yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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