i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
