how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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