There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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