But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
