i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Little spoons don't ask big questions
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize