we're blogging at a bar
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize