I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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