one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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