Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
sarcasm needs its own font
I queefed so loud it echoed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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