why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
