So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
