just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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