Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize