I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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