i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
