she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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