I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
