y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
