Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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