it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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