; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize