Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize