I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
vagina is talking i cant
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
