i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
