i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just gift wrapped bread.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
