Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The adults are the big ones right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
