hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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