I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
